How to keep your New Year’s resolution

The RIGHT goals ?

We choose goals so that we have something to show, talk about, demonstrate direction, and avoid embarrassment.

• Be honest with yourself

Subconsciously, we choose goals that are not really ours, therefore we are not committed in achieving and delivering on them.

• Distinguish between your ‘externally adopted’ goals and your real internal ones. Check your wording: Are you using statements such as “I need to…I should, I must …” Chances are that your goals are not really yours.. When do you say: “I want to …? You might be closer to your personal goals and dreams.

How to identify your goals ?

Ask yourself: If you were guaranteed success in anything you want, no limitations, no obstacles, what would it be ? !

then list up to five things you dream of … using the below three categories. What is it you want to have, be and do ? What is it you dream of ..

• Having (including but not limited to material things, car, cloths, etc)
• Being (fluent in Spanish, good yoga teacher, etc).
• Doing (visiting Brasil, learn to windsurf, etc)

If you are blocked in terms of ‘doing’ ? Think of:

• One place to visit
• One thing to do before you die
• One thing to do daily
• One thing to do weekly
• One thing you always wanted to learn

How to achieve those goals – some guidelines

1. Stop being busy and do what is important. What is the one thing that gets you closer to your important goal. Start every day with that and complete, before you do anything else.
2. Don’t try to scare yourself, punishment is a poor motivator.
3. Get better friends. Surround yourself with friends that can also be rolemodels.
4. Break your goals down into small bite-size junks. Maximum 2 hours tasks.
5. Just do it first, before you are stuck in planning. Actions preceeds motivation.
6. Avoid being a perfectionist.
7. Setbacks are lessons for growth. Just make sure you really learn from them. Insanity is repeating the same thing and expecting a different outcome.
8. Don’t keep your resolution to yourself. Sharing it with the right, supportive others might give you a gentle nudge in the right direction when you loose track.
9. Give your goals meaning. Real meaning for yourself.  Your goal should be something you really desire to change or achieve, not something that society says is good for you to do or your family members would like to see you do. If you don’t have strong, internal motivation within yourself, you won’t be successful and you are likely to give up over time.

Good luck and most importantly enjoy; it is your life.

Best regards

Nicolai

Our mind is very powerful in convincing us that we better stay where we are, just shut up and keep quiet, because the potential consequences will be detrimental… really ?

What are the actual financial costs for not acting now ? Think about the e.g.

• medial costs for the health damage,
• massages for tight shoulders,
• vitamin pills and immune boosters to fight sickness due to your stress,
• sleeping pills to numb the worries and coffees for your drained energy levels

• the lost opportunities to make the income you deserve in a job that you like and feel passionate about
• the hours of leisure and free time that you don’t have because you are stuck in a 12 hour job

Give it a Rand value and start a simple calculation to show the financial ‘consequences’ of each of your decisions. How much do you gain and loss by staying and by changing your situation.

Is it worth the price you are paying ?

Regards

Nicolai

Psychologist and coaches

Generally most of the people today are well informed.
A lot of them have already done soul searching. Every second book, movie, you name it, has already got psychology interpretations, TV shows – Oprah, Dr. Phil.  Your basic average person requires that much more of a psychologist.  No longer is your average person satisfied with having a problem at home, going to a specialist, having the specialist repair the damage and then going back home and all is well.

Most of the people today want to be able to fix the problems themselves and hence that is why these New Age psychologists are called coaches.  Most of the coaches today have psychology incorporated, in fact a lot of them were psychologists.  Coaching allows the client to be the expert.  The idea of the expert resides with them and not the coach.  The previous idea whereby the expert would have all the answers and retain that information to himself, no longer exists.

Your average person wants to know why.
Don’t just give him an answer to his question, or just fix his problem.  They want to know everything.  They want to know where it came from, where it is going, why, who they are, what they are.  Why even in certain aspects the coach has come up with that answer and not another one.

We live in an era of info and people are hungry for information about themselves and about life.  In all walks of life, private life, career, business, finances – in every aspect of their lives they want to be coached.  The New Age psychologist has changed psychology and made it a positive attitude to life through psychology. Psychology is no longer just a tool to understanding what is wrong. Psychology has become a positive attitude, hence a positive psychology to life.  The psychology of life in a positive attitude, in a positive way, well informed, takes people further now.

People themselves are becoming psychologists.
In fact most of them are their own psychologists and are attempting to be their own psychologists. We the coaches no longer play the main character, we are just aids to assist them in the best possible way – for them to find their way, not for us to find their way.

The attitude towards getting help

In the past, psychology was an area which was considered private.  Should you have a problem, should there be an issue as such, then you would secretly go to a psychologist.  Today psychology is more and more considered to be a positive thing.  People will be proud to advertise that they are coached by XYZ, and that is the difference.

In the past it was considered taboo and maybe even something wrong with you.  Most of the people today understand this – any issues, any psychological problems that they have, is considered a norm.  The word is out, there are many books, specialists advertising. No longer is it a problem, it is just your path, growing and stretching boundaries and trying the best that you can within that time.

Psychology is much more flexible now, much more applicable than before.  It is even used in sports, in every aspect of our lives today. This master is just now more flexible, more reachable, and more approachable.

Approach of the Life Coaching Centre

The Life Coaching Centre applies a true holistic (holistic= emphasizing the functional relation between parts and the whole) approach whereby the coach looks at the bigger picture and takes relevant elements of the person’s life into consideration like work-life balance, career, body, relationship, cultural, emotional, spiritual, etc when for example working on a career development.

We believe that it is in the clients best interest to raise his awareness about the bigger picture and therefore supporting him in identifying the root-cause (bigger/deeper picture) and not just a quick fix of the symptomatic surface issue, hence coaching where the client has the answers – not the professional – and the coach helps to uncover the answer together with the client.

Any questions, contact me.

What does coaching do ?

It helps people to transform (themselves and their lifes) and to get them out of procrastination . . . so these are the two key directions coaching can take you.

Transformational coaching focuses on transforming your beliefs, thinking patterns, values, and unconscious and conscious assumptions you are holding. This leds to a longer process (not years but also not days) in order to unlearn the less-desired stuff and acquire to learn and become aware of the desired and aspired new patterns in your life.

Transactional coaching focus on you getting your things done, so there is a clear action focus and results delivery.

Both type of coaching directions are valuable and useful. The client decides which one (or boths) is (are) desired.

Why don’t you try it out for yourself ?

Contact me

Best regards

Nicolai