How to keep your New Year’s resolution
The RIGHT goals ?
We choose goals so that we have something to show, talk about, demonstrate direction, and avoid embarrassment.
Subconsciously, we choose goals that are not really ours, therefore we are not committed in achieving and delivering on them.
- Distinguish between your ‘externally adopted’ goals and your real internal ones. Check your wording: Are you using statements such as “I need to…I should, I must …” Chances are that your goals are not really yours.. When do you say: “I want to …? You might be closer to your personal goals and dreams.
How to identify your goals ?
Ask yourself: If you were guaranteed success in anything you want, no limitations, no obstacles, what would it be ? !
then list up to five things you dream of … using the below three categories. What is it you want to have, be and do ? What is it you dream of ..
- Having (including but not limited to material things, car, cloths, etc)
- Being (fluent in Spanish, good yoga teacher, etc).
- Doing (visiting Brasil, learn to windsurf, etc)
If you are blocked in terms of ‘doing’ ? Think of:
- One place to visit
- One thing to do before you die
- One thing to do daily
- One thing to do weekly
- One thing you always wanted to learn
How to achieve those goals – some guidelines
- Stop being busy and do what is important. What is the one thing that gets you closer to your important goal. Start every day with that and complete, before you do anything else.
- Don’t try to scare yourself, punishment is a poor motivator.
- Get better friends. Surround yourself with friends that can also be rolemodels.
- Break your goals down into small bite-size junks. Maximum 2 hours tasks.
- Just do it first, before you are stuck in planning. Actions preceeds motivation.
- Avoid being a perfectionist.
- Setbacks are lessons for growth. Just make sure you really learn from them. Insanity is repeating the same thing and expecting a different outcome.
- Don’t keep your resolution to yourself. Sharing it with the right, supportive others might give you a gentle nudge in the right direction when you loose track.
- Give your goals meaning. Real meaning for yourself. Your goal should be something you really desire to change or achieve, not something that society says is good for you to do or your family members would like to see you do. If you don’t have strong, internal motivation within yourself, you won’t be successful and you are likely to give up over time.
Good luck and most importantly enjoy; it is your life.
Best regards
Nicolai
How does Coaching fit in with other disciplines such as psychiatrist, psychologist, mentors, etc ?
Let’s use the metaphor of driving a car.
- A psychiatrist will diagnose what is stopping you from from driving the car – The ‘Why’
- A psychologist will listen to the anxieties about you driving the car….where else do you have similar anxieties ?…
- A mentor will share hints and trips from his experience of driving… what happened to me back then and what I would do differently now.
- A consultant will advise you on how to drive the car…. the do’s and don’s
- A trainer will practise with you driving a car
- A coach will work with you in such a way, that you will be overcoming your obstacles, you will put the things in place that help and support you in driving the car. A coach will help you identifying your obstacles and helping you finding your personal approach to the solution.
Hope this helps in selecting the ‘right discipline’ for your situation.
… maybe this helps you to assess which areas of your life you want to change ?
So, if it is coaching you want, contact me here.
Regards
Niclolai
Source: Best Practice in Performance Coaching: A Handbook for Leaders, Coaches, HR …By Carol Wilson and the FedHealth Newsletter issue 4/2010
It seems that becoming a coach is becoming more and more fashionable, at least if I go by the number of requests and enquiries I receive every day. The companies that offer training to become a coach must make a lot of money, guess why many coaches offer coach training ? So much easier and faster to make money.
When talking about coaching and coaches, I am not talking about coaches in the sports domain, I am refering to face-to-face interaction with an individual. I am excluding giving advice, mentoring, consulting, therapy, counselling, training, or providing technical, factual information as a service such as e.g. Nutritional coaching which is just a fashion term for providing nutritional advice. This is not coaching !
I do not and don’t have the intention to offer coach training. I do not advice or recommend a particular coaching education or entity over another. Everybody has different expectations and needs and I don’t want to be liable for your decisions.
If you are still interested to become a coach, there are several options out there, which can be divided into two groups.
- Entities that offer traditional classroom style education, based on a curriculm with several modules. Each module runs for several weeks/months with tests to be written at intervals, literature to be reviewed, exam papers to be written before a certificate or diploma is issued.
- Entities that offer one or few short courses over the period of a few weeks , mostly weekends, with group interaction amongst students during that time and often in between weekend courses at their own time to practice and train the weekend course material. This type of training is more practical, often shorter, less academic, less research-knowledge bsased, less ‘thorough’ in terms of theory and study whislt likely to be more interactive and easierr to pass and quick er to get a certificate.
If you are still interested to become a coach, ask yourself the follwoing questions before you embark on an education or training.
- Do I want to do it for the certification and the paper on the wall ?
- Do I want to do it for the networking and getting to know other coaches and how they work ?
- Do I want to do it to become a coach and establish a new career and income stream ?
- Do I want to do because I like the working (and life) style of a coach ?
- Do I want to do it because I like to be a able to say that I am a coach/ working as a coach ?
- Do I want to do it for my personal development ?
- Do I want to do it to learn more about /for myself
- Do I want to do it so that I can learn and improve my life…and take charge of my life.
To most of the above questions, there are alternative options and anwsers beyond doing a coaching education/training….yes some include taking actual coaching sessions, some alternative courses, or other means and mediums to get to the desired goal.
‘Facts’:
- Coaching is like, consulting, an unregulated profession and industry. Anybody can call him/herself a coach and start working as a coach.
- Few coaching educations/training couses are accredited with credible local or internationa bodies
- Few of the local or international coaching bodies are more than a network of coaches to assert themselves, group amongst themselves or consolidate the students in an alumni type network.
- There are more than 18 official coaching related bodies and associations in the german-speaking countries in Europe, and each of them claim superiority over the others.
- Many professions are taking on the term ‘coach’ and now there are suddently sales coaches, wellness coaches, body image coaches, etc out there. This might impact on the reputation and image of the remaining coaching profession and coaches.
By the way, a nice distinction I heard recently for the differnce between education and training – What would you prefer for your daughter ? Sex education or sex training ?
Our mind is very powerful in convincing us that we better stay where we are, just shut up and keep quiet, because the potential consequences will be detrimental… really ?
What are the actual financial costs for not acting now ? Think about the e.g.
- medial costs for the health damage,
- massages for tight shoulders,
- vitamin pills and immune boosters to fight sickness due to your stress,
- sleeping pills to numb the worries and coffees for your drained energy levels
- the lost opportunities to make the income you deserve in a job that you like and feel passionate about
- the hours of leisure and free time that you don’t have because you are stuck in a 12 hour job
Give it a Rand value and start a simple calculation to show the financial ‘consequences’ of each of your decisions. How much do you gain and loss by staying and by changing your situation.
Is it worth the price you are paying ?
Regards
Nicolai
Yes, you can afford coaching.
I work in a set of 4 (four) committed coaching sessions with payment upfront for R 1,580; this equates to R 395 per 60 minute session. You can terminate the coaching at any point and will only pay for the used coaching session.
Money back guarantee.
I believe that you should only pay for coaching that adds value to your life. I am prepared to refund you the money for a session if you feel that you did not get value-for-money (as long as you state this at the end of a session).Ca
